Today I want to talk about something that happens to stay at home moms. It’s called Mom Burnout.
TIMEOUT: Do not get me wrong I know this happens to ALL moms whether you work inside the home or not so don’t be hating if you are a working mom outside of the home. I just happen to BE a stay at home mom, so I can only speak to my experiences.
TIME IN: There is definitely a learning curve to being a mom. There is an even bigger learning curve to stay at home moms. I think it is due to the lack of a “set schedule”. It is easy to fly by the seat of your pants and that, mamas, can get you in trouble. As a mom I put everyone’s needs before my own. There would be days I wouldn’t eat but my kids would have a full on home made breakfast, perfect snack and lunch and all I was warming up my coffee for the 5th time. The kids would be showered, dressed and I would be rocking the side #mombun with pjs, maybe a bra, unbrushed teeth and yesterdays mascara under my eyes. About 5 minutes before my husband walked through the door turned into pure chaos. The usual was a whole lotta screaming. Yelling at the kids to pick up so I could go run a wash cloth over my parts and freshen up that mascara from yesterday and brush my teeth before dad got home. Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t expect Suzie homemaker to be standing at the door in her Sunday best waiting with his slippers and a pipe, but let’s get real…I was embarassed to look at my own self in the mirror. Does this sound familiar? It was the same thing day in and day out. Before I knew it I burnt myself out. I literally was just going through the day and the last thing I thought of was myself. It showed in my moods towards my kids, my husband and forget talking to friends. I was in severe introvert mode. Am I speaking your language? Well let’s address this mmmmkay?
Mom burnout is real so one thing you must do is STOP and take time for you IMMEDIATELY!!!!! Ideas to get you out of the house :
- get your nails/hair done ($35-$80)/ ($25-$100+)
- get a massage ($65-$95)
- go have coffee/drinks with friends ($5-$10) <—cheap and you’ll probably have some much needed laugh/gossip time
- bring your journal/book to a quiet place ie: beach, bookstore, pool, park ($0) <—-if you just need quiet and a place to clear your head
- go dancing with friends ($ varies depending on type of dancing and where)
- go for a walk/run/hike/bike and jam out to your favorite NON KID songs ($0)
- take a class such as cooking (check with a local upscale kitchen utensil place like Sur La Table or painting (check your local craft store like Michaels) (varies in price but free options are available)
- go on a date with your significant other- ($50-$100) this helps you not feel like the maid and a valued partner in the family dynamic
Oils that help mom burnout (Young Living brand)
- Release-at night diffuse this to help the body let go of strong emotions instead of burying them
- Stress Away- roll this stuff on anytime emotions are high
- Cedarwood- mom needs to have a healthy sleep cycle – no more #mombie mode mmmmkay?
- Envision-anytime I am in a creative mood I put on this oil and I’m amazed at my progress. <–using this now while I write this blog post, in fact!
- Sensation-helps the feeling of woman empowerment and taps into the sensual side creating a place of raised self esteem <—try this at bed time for when it’s parent alone time ?
- Orange or Bergamot- (any citrus oils really) help with improved positive moods (side note orange between your thighs and sensation on your wrists during parent alone time may or may not create sparks ? I can hear Marvin Gaye now ?
Taking time for you is so incredibly important, friend. You wont realize how much you need it until you do it. Talking to loved ones about the need to take time for you is definitely step 1. Your spouse is usually a good first step. Let them know you just need to have a few hours to yourself and ask if they could help collaborate on schedules. Demanding time immediately usually isn’t the best way to go about it and usually not well received. By collaborating schedules you take their feelings into account as well and is usually an easier way to talk to them and make you much needed mama time happen. I needed to do this with my husband and it was very effective. After some trial and error I know now that before I get really overwhelmed I should reach out to him and put some time on the schedule. When dads schedule this time it allows them to have intentional time with the kiddos so it is definitely a win win. Let’s face it, you are an integral part to your family dynamic so it is really important you are happy and at your best. Being selfish for a few hours may feel wrong to start but if you are anything like me I just feel better after I’ve had some time and can “Mom” a heck of a lot better afterward. My family has noticed a huge change and I personally feel better because I didn’t lose it on my child at the drop of a hat. I hope this helps you mama bear. If you go anywhere fun I would love to hear your story in the comments below. I would love to see a string of comments of moms taking time for themselves and the positive changes it has made for them. From one mom to another-You got this, and you are AWESOME!! #momsneedtimetoo #momorsuperwoman #runningoncoffeeandoils #takingtimeforyou #itisok #getitonthecalendar #youdeserveit #youneedit #momswhochilltogetherchangetheworld